Second Chances
by vmuzic
Summary: Lisa Bartowski isn't Alex, but she is a baby girl, and maybe she could be his.


Casey looked down at the little bundle in his arms. So light and warm, so foreign to him. He could hear the soft snoring of both parents in the other room. Sarah and Chuck were being run ragged by this tiny baby, and it had only been a month. The proud parents adored their beautiful daughter. Casey was starting to see it. She was a ball of pink skin. The most wonderful feature about her was her eyes, crystal blue like her mothers, with flecks of Bartowski brown around the edges.

This tiny little baby had been the center of the Team Bartowski world for almost ten months, but to hold her in his arms at last was still so surreal. She looked straight at him. Not many dared hold eye contact with John Casey, but this little one seemed to be staring right into him, with defiance and a bit of a challenge. When Chuck had first handed him this little bundle in the hospital he had protested loudly. Live explosives he could handle, but this tiny girl was so much more breakable. He was sure he would hurt her somehow. Hurting had been his specialty for so long, it came naturally to him. Chuck had ignored him, as usual, and handed both blanket and baby into his arms. When he looked into her face he was mesmerized. This newborn was so small, yet the grip she had on the blanket was so strong. Even as he stared into her face, another floated into his mind.

Casey knew that Lisa Eleanore Bartowski was not his daughter, but at the same time, she was his little girl. She would know that John Casey was there. When her heart was broken, she would know that he was the man to call to knock whomever into next week. He did not want to miss all the precious moments a second time. He wanted to see first steps, and first teeth. "Lisa," he crooned, his voice sounding strange to his own ears, "I've got your back. Make sure you remember that, you hear?"

"I know" a voice responded. Casey looked up to see Sarah standing in the doorway. "I think you will end up raising Lisa just as much as Chuck and I."

"Walker" Casey responded, using the name he had come to know and trust her with "I didn't realize you woke up." He was not caught off guard very often, even by his partners.

"I'm glad I did, this is too precious to miss." Casey glared at her. The adjective "precious" had never been applied to him before, and he wasn't sure he liked it.

"What, no picture?" he asked, remembering others she had taken for blackmail purposes. Even so, Lisa was still in his arms and he had no desire to hand her over.

"Somehow I have the feeling I'll get used to seeing you with her." Sarah's voice was soft and gentle. "Casey, Chuck and I have decided that we want you to be her godfather."

Casey looked at his partner in alarm "Walker, I've already screwed up my own kid, don't you dare make me responsible for yours!" his whisper was soft but intense. He had never turned Sarah down before, and he knew his words would sting, but the life of this tiny girl was worth so much more than that. Casey could snipe anyone who got near enough to hurt her, and he knew he would always keep an eye on her, but her godfather? That was outside his abilities. He would always watch her, but he could not take any sort of responsibility for her well being outside immediate threats.

Sarah sat next to Casey on the couch smoothing the blanket around her daughter, but making no move to take her. "Sarah, surely Ellie and Devon are a better choice. That way, if anything were to happen to you and Chuck, she could be raised away from the spy life. Plus, look at their daughter. They would be the smart choice."

"We talked about that. Lisa will always be in danger because of what we are, and we want to know that there will always be someone to take care of her, someone who knows what's out there." Sarah locked eyes with her partner. "John, when you look at her your eyes light up. I've seen the way you babble at her when you think Chuck and I can't hear. I know you love my daughter. I know you will do anything to make her happy. I also know you will do whatever needs to be done to keep her safe. Whether we say it or not, you are Lisa's godfather."

She kissed Lisa's forehead and left, leaving Casey to his thoughts. The words he spoke to Devon outside the delivery room came back to him "I missed my daughter's birth. I missed her whole childhood and made her mother raise her alone. Not a day goes by I don't regret that." Casey studied the child in his arms-the eyes now looking everywhere but him, Walkers delicate nose, and the mouth Lisa shared with both her father and aunt.

When he accepted the call to the NSA, Casey had given up being a father without a second thought. He had never exactly wanted children anyway. He never thought enough about them to want any. Then came the day he first saw Alex. Every mission had flashed before his eyes then. He wanted to go back and rewrite them so that he could have his daughter. Everything he had done for his country felt small in comparison. He left knowing he had forever missed that chance.

Now Alex had brought him more joy than he thought possible. Every moment with her was something he treasured. The sound of her voice was the most beautiful sound in the world to him. The feeling of fear was new to him, but it had become common, knowing that there was a life that was far more dear to him than his own. But with all that, it pained him to see old pictures and videos of her. He had lost her childhood forever. The thought he had been trying not to think broke on his consciousness like a gentle wave on the sand. This was his redemption for abandoning another little girl. No, she was not the same child, but all the same, she would need someone to help her ride a bike and someone to make her laugh. This was the second chance he never dared hope for.

As that thought finished, he started to smell something distinctly unpleasant. Deciding to take baby steps into this new world he went into the next room and woke the sleeping man with a gruff "Bartowski, diaper duty."


End file.
